Stalker, or not… you decide.
One of my long-time friends is being stalked, imho. She had a friends-only entry that was posted on LiveJournal that the stalker replied to, after she had specifically over time done everything to exclude this guy out of her life. She has blocked him on AIM and other instant messaging, removed him from her friends list, and specifically told him to leave her alone. He has sent her certified mail and txt’s her cell number.
So, after she told me and showed me the emails (which I have included), I sent him an email to let him know my feelings (because I’m good at that). That letter is in BOLD. The letter that freaked her out is below that in ITALICS. In that, is a reply to the LJ entry that he should not have been able to have access to. A couple of ways this could have been done, is via him creating a new identity, gaining her friendship, and then being allowed into that group by her… or someone could have violated her privacy and sent it him. However, -all-.. let me stress that again ALL of her friends know he is being Stalkery McStalkerpants and harassing her… so it would seem unlikely that would be the case. Weaselroom is not allowed, as this is not just the single way he was harassing her…. but is an escalation in his actions against her.
You will note that she replied (foolishly, but honestly to try to deal with this situation herself) in all caps. There is no mistaking her request. Yet he, (also foolishly) ignored her request, as well as mine, as well as waiting a whole bunch of days for things to die down… to reply.
So… all testosterone aside, would it be too much to ask that there be a way to send fire through the Internet? I wouldn’t be able to be in charge of that, because there are too many people I’d have to push that button for. This is also why I’m not allowed to have the nuke codes when I become supreme ruler of the free world.
Comments allowed in LJ and DJ as well.
~Cryo
[Edited to preserve privacy]
The other is [Victim]. The situation with her, while quite different, has also
needed at times friendship and support. I have been increasing concerned
over her fear and disgust of what one could categorize as stalking. From
certified letters, to the words of comfort that are masked in an obsessive
and threatening attempt to persuade her to do your bidding. The emotional
stress that you have added to her life over time has resulted in her being
far more withdrawn and scared. It has obviously reached a point where she
has asked for help in dealing with this situation, and I am involving
myself in it to attempt to prevent an escalation of this into a legal
entanglement that no one really wants. I do understand love and loss, and
having recently spilt enough blood on my journals. I don’t want [Victim] to
have to endure more agony and stress from your ‘help’. What would be a
better way to handle this is to step back, and let [Victim] be able to be
herself without having to constantly get new email addresses, constantly
block you on various IM and social networking services, and being afraid
that anyone she is talking to or expressing her writing and thoughts to,
might in fact, be you. This is a serious situation and make no qualms
about it, she will escalate this to the next level if it continues. I
would be disappointed if it has to because I took time out of my life to
email you and try to get you to understand that this spiral you are in
is something you can’t drag her into it. She can’t handle it, and
doesn’t want to. She’s trusting me to resolve this with you, rather
than the police. I know that this will seem rude, a shock, and that I
should be the focus of your rage, hate, or whatever. I’m simply trying
to avoid people getting hurt more than they already are.
Please avoid contacting [Victim] and cease all involvement in her life. If
and when she wishes to contact you, she will. Your continued stalking
both online and off will not be tolerated by her or her (and your)
friends.
I’m sorry it had to come to this, but it’s out of control and I hope
that you find your grounding. I expect you to respect her as well
as any pictures, writings, or confidence that she placed in you to
ensure the security of such material to prevent any damage that it
may cause her.
—– Forwarded Message —-
From: [REDACTED]
Sent: Wed, October 14, 2009 11:57:35 AM
Subject: Re: Don’t give up hope. There is better.
Dearest [REDACTED]
I never said I read or was reading, or have been reading your journal. In fact I still can’t.
But when you post things, that make people so concerned for your life and safety that they contact me with the information, wanting me to do something???!!!
Then it’s a whole different matter.
Also, do you know just how many blogs you belong to??? Do you even have an idea??? I know of over 40 so far, as at one time I was getting at least 5 email messages a month saying “so & so has you listed as a friend and would like you to join yadda yadda”.
And when you cross-post entries to other journals, they’re not secured. Sweety, you really need to sharpen up on your computerese and Netiquette.
But your admitting that you have an issue is the first step in dealing with it. Sociopathy is not a pretty thing. You’re in a death spiral that will only get worse and worse and worse. Please please darling talk to someone soon! We’re all here for you whether you like it or not. We care for you whether you like it or not. And we’re not going away, now that we know that you’ve been pushing people away, we’re not leaving. You’re not well sweety, and it raises grave concerns in all of us.
Please sweety, talk to someone. I know it’s a hard and scary thing to do. But I’ve done it. And I can help you. I’m reaching a hand out here. And it’s yours to take freely when things get worse than they are now.
All my love
[REDACTED]
—– Original Message —–
From: [Victim]
To: [Stalker]
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 6:37 PM
Subject: Re: Don’t give up hope. There is better.
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND LEAVE ME ALONE AND HOW THE HELL ARE YOU READING MY ENTRIES YOU’RE NOT EVEN ON MY DAMN LIST ANYMORE.
From: [Stalker]
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 8:33:19 PM
Subject: Don’t give up hope. There is better.
Dearest [Victim]
From your entry.
I’m tired. *I know sweety.
I’m tired of being tired. *I know my love. I’ve been there numerous times.
I’m tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. *Yup. Been ther etoo.
I want to lay down for a while and sleep. *Which is your right.
I don’t want to worry. *Nope. No one does.
I don’t want to think. *A sign of being tired.
I just want to sleep. *Another sign of being tired.
But I can’t sleep. *Again tired, endorphines trying to keep you awake.
The thoughts continually spin in my head and the more the thoughts spin the more lethargic I
become. *Then let me be your grounding rod. Love me or hate me. I’ll always be your constant. Your anchor. Your one steady thing that you can grab onto when the world gets to be too much.
There are things I used to care about that I don’t care about anymore. *It’s natural sweety. You’re tired.
There are people I cared about that I don’t care about anymore. *yup.
Maybe I’m becoming jaded as I get older more cynical but I’ve become the mindset of “what’s in
it for me” if I do this for you. *I offer you a life. A chance. That offer and more are yours, given to you freely without any strings attached. A place to stay freely. No rent, no board. The room is yours for as long as you want or need it. I’ll never hinder your progress. In fact I freely want to do anything I can to support any progress that you make in any area.
It shouldn’t be that way. I shouldn’t think like that. *No. It’s a sign of stress.
I should want to do something because it’s important to do. *And yet you don’t, because you’retired.
I don’t know. *It’s ok honey. *shoulder rubs* Really, it’s ok!
I feel lost. *Then let me be your compass. I still remember the dreams you weave at night.
I’m a balloon without a string just floating along in the sky. *Then let me be your string. Tether yourself to me. I’m a big honkin’ rock!
I’m not tethered to anything. *raises hand!*
Disconnected from everything. *Then I’ll plug you back in! You need a spa trip.
Disconnected from people and places and ideals. *Oh, not good!
Float. *Have you tried meditation?
Float away high in the sky. *Then I’ll just have to chase after you. Follow you to make sure you’re safe.
How long will it continue until crashing down, popped. *Even if you do? I’ll always, ALWAYS be here to catch you!
I haven’t done anything worth doing since school was finished in December. *Consider it a vacation.
I haven’t had a real set structure to anything. *After all that stress from college, downtime is a good thing!
I need structure in my life. *Eat more fiber! *snickering*
I need balance. *Yeah, Balance Fiber bars. *ducks*
I need to feel as if I’m making a difference and I don’t feel that way. *You are making a difference. The effect may not be readily seen now. But you are making an effect. There are peoples lives that have changed because of you. Because of the good you’ve done. You are a good, kind, loving and caring person [Name]. Why do you think I, the pickiest person from Hell, fell in love with you??? You’re just as beautiful on the inside, as you are on the outside. I fell in love with you before I even saw what you looked like. Why do you think I’m tearing apart heaven and hell to be with you? You are someone special. Someone worth crossing a continent for. Someone worth uprooting their life for. You are worth these, and so much more [Name]. Don’t ever sell yourself short! We know you have weaknesses, they’re a part of you the way they are a part of everyone. It makes you human, gives you a center, and gives you power.
I feel like I’m moving but I’m stuck all at the same time. *That’s a natural part of feeling exhausted with no reserves to run on.
I just want to feel as if I’m doing something with my life instead of feeling like I’m nothing
at all. *College. Please sweety? Take me up on the offer. You can continue to have an effect on peoples lives by teaching here. It’ll be a new environment and one I know you’ll flourish in.
So I ask what do I do? *Move out here. I’m more than ready to aid you in any way you want!
I don’t have the answers anymore. *I do sweety. Let me take care of you till you’re feeling better. Let those batteries recharge on one of the many beaches here.
I’m running on empty and I don’t know how to refill my tank. *Would eating chocolate while having a backrub on the beach be a good way to start???
***
I haven’t been reading or writing or walking or taking care of me the way I should be taken
care of because I just don’t give a damn. *Then let me take care of you. I’ll give a damn for the both of us.
What’s happened to me and how do I get what I had back? *It’s simple sweety. Juststart talking to me again. Remember all the fun times we had? We can have those again. I can make you laugh again. I always loved making you laugh. And something tells me you could use a good belly laugh right now.
Do I even want it back or do I want to continue living the life I’m living? *Please sweety no. Don’t give up hope. You don’t realize it, but at the moment, you stand at a crux in your life. Staying there and doing the same old thing over and over till you’re a worn out shell of what you use to be and half-dead. Or come out here and really LIVE! Live the life that you want to live. And live it to its fullest! I’ll keep a candle lit for you my love, and say prayers for you as well.
All my eternal love
[Stalker]
