It’s not you… It’s me
Met at the mall with Neitzer, Chris, Nicole, and Lilliane at the Teavana. It was and interesting moment of TOS meets TNG. The guy who made my fav of 2 scoops of Golden Monkey, 2 scoops of Sugar, for 2 minutes served over ice… did a good job so it didn’t taste like sweaty ass farts. I think Jess came up with that magic equation. Memory isn’t so good, and I was a little out of place. 2 pretty girls said that my blue hair looked nice. We ate at Ruby Tuesdays mainly because of the salad bar. It was the only thing I had, which was killed by the DQ Blizzard on the good-for-me chart.
We stood for more than 10 minutes at the fountain trying to get the Apple concierge thing to come up because we’re nerds. Only to end up walking up the stairs anyway. They didn’t have any slots open to discuss my trackpad issue. I found out from Nicole that having a case that I liked in dark blue plastic with powder blue elastic is… Feminine. I might get it anyway whenever I get the 3GS or maybe I’ll just wait for the new iPod touch series out in September. In any case, I want to get something so annoying that no one would dare steal.
Even surrounded by people who love and support me, I still felt lonely and empty. It’s like there’s a cloud of forgotten memories that is there that I can’t get at but just know it’s there. It’s not their fault, it’s me. These people are the heroes of my life and I know putting up with me is hard. The outbursts making you the center of a joke; the profane and misogynistic comments to make myself look like more of an ass than I really am; the poking at the soft delicates of your soul to find out why you hurt and then doing everything to try to make you feel just a tiny bit better and failing. There is nothing I can ever do to pay it back, because I would rather have my life suck more than make yours worse. Quit fretting over whether the “yours” was grammatically correct or not. “It’s how my brain works”, and it was funny for Maddy to say that to me during one of chats where I point out her teen angst and crazy-gene that we share.
I was happy to be able to walk the mall and be with evertyone without my cane or slowing everyone down that they get impatient waiting for me. On the contrary, I had decent strength and stamina. I was sure I would pay for it because, “that’s how my body works”.
Especially since is was -pissing- rain on the way to the mall. The kind of rain that hurts when you are riding a bicycle and sucks total ass when on the motorcycle. Speaking of, I got the talk in so many words that we can’t afford the tag or insurance on it. That dickface giving me the ticket would jack my rate up because it’s a moving violation. So I need to quit procrastinating and sell it. Chris is similarly procrastinating selling his. Besides, I want a Kawasaki Vulcan 900 anyway… And a pony… And win the lottery… And be healthy again.
The neurologist appointment is in the morning and I can’t sleep. Plus I need to remember to date stamp the posts right since I work on multiple ones over days on the iTouch’s Wordpress app, the upload when finished.
Oh downloaded the pictures of the plants but didn’t import them into iPhoto which would sync to this so I can drop them into the post. Sorry. Also there’s pics from the mall gathering.
Just push post already.
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