I’ve lost almost a week to the bed monster. Taking extras to my medications like caffeine or sugar has done nothing and today I was privleged to be out of bed for 3 hours in a sleep-deprived zombie state that leaves me detached, cranky, and mostly useless. To add to the stress level, Elle fell at work because of water under a mat making it slippery. She goes to the workmans comp doc tomorrow since she hurt her back. Sadly my pain pills do little for her and I know that she’s in pain and I know that pain too well. I’m determined to break this cycle of sleeping 10-15 minutes, being uncomfotable, too hot sweating too cold freezing, and generally annoyed. I told Elle that I think I’m depressed and she said that I’m the little blob with the rain cloud over me. It made us laugh but I’ve taken a couple steps back to try to fix this. I had a dream that I told her to put me into a medical coma to let my body heal. Tonight she said that the lortab, flexeril, and Ambien CR I took was just not going to give me the type of sleep I need but just put me in a medical coma. I find no other way to deal with insomnia and the constant fighting of my body and my brain over who is right. Right now they are both wrong. I need sleep and I’m not there yet. To the land of jolly gumdrops with Cheshire cat teeth ready to eat me.

This tstorm stuff isn’t helping either. At least I don’t have a migraine.

I made up my bed slightly different. Maybe that will help, but I doubt it. I’ve been feeling a little lonely lately, but I haven’t exactly been out of the house much. I still miss her… and bed monster will eat me.

Today is Neitzer’s birthday. Maybe he’ll come out to this side of town.

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